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nobody likes me, but it's okay

(Source: nbcsnl)

growley:

water-for-mermaids:

growley:

if you’re ever mean to me i’ll seduce your dad and get him to marry me then i’ll be your fucking stepmom and i’ll disable the internet every night at seven pm don’t fucking try me 

This is just fucking weird.

enjoy your new bedtime, bitch

(Source: afterstories)

heyfunniest:

thanks satan

interswagnet:

tag me in posts!!!! (◕‿◕✿)

message me!!!! (◕‿◕✿)

interact with me!!!!! (◕‿◕✿)

friendship!!!!! (◕‿◕✿)

(Source: mondegreener)

(Source: theberlinpaywall)

nonomella:

my 6-year-olds were upset because i taught them ‘television’ and they were like NO TEACHER IT’S A TV

so i wrote ‘television’ on the board and highlighted “T” and “V” and they reacted like i’d just taught them the secrets of the universe

namastetoyoutoo:

This is by far my favorite tweet ever.

(Source: kirinodesu)

therekunoing:

How does this even happen? I have to get most legendaries beaten to an inch of their life, asleep, with every button pressed and my first born sacrificed for some catches. And TPP just throws a ball at full HP and catches a fucking shiny Zekrom like it aint even a thing.

the-vashta-nerada:

ALRIGHT SO IT’S 2:30 IN THE MORNING AND I WAS JUST ABOUT TO FALL ASLEEP AND  THEN I SAT UP AND ALMOST SCREAMED BECAUSE I WAS STRUCK WITH REALIZATION AND I DISCOVERED THE ULTIMATE TRUTH OF THE UNIVERSE

TELETUBBIES ARE CALLED TELETUBBIES BECAUSE THEY HAVE TELEVISIONS IN THEIR STOMACHS

illkim:

Summer expectations

image

Summer reality

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(Source: illkim)

(Source: straightwhiteboystexting)

howtobeaheartbreaker:

ahhh yes, family gatherings *takes a handful of xanax* i love family time

(Source: tokyokushuss)